


Guidance

by ffdemon



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Blind Kanan, Blindness, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Kinda, Space family, twiligth of the apprentice spoiler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6473266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffdemon/pseuds/ffdemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the physical pain slowly faded away after a few weeks, Kanan realized the hardest part was to accept his new condition and the loss of autonomy. Lucky he could count on the crew to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guidance

As the physical pain slowly faded away after a few weeks, Kanan realized the hardest part was to accept his new condition and the loss of autonomy.

For as long as he can remember, he had been trained to wield the Force to extend his senses, and to be able to rely on his other faculty if one was impared, so this wasn't the biggest challenge. It's getting used to it. For the moment, he couldn't fully depend on the Force... yet. His body was still healing, and to use the Force every waking hour was taking it's toll..

That is why he had to swallow his pride and accept help from his friends. Atollon's base is still unfamiliar ground, and Kanan didn’t want to accidentally step outside the sensor markers and have another meeting with the locals. One fight against those spiders had been enough to last him a lifetime. At first, Kanan had refused any help, preferring the recognizable environment of the Ghost. He knew this ship like the back of his hand, and could walk around without much trouble. Though sometimes he forgot how spaced out the ladder's rungs were, or how far to the left the dejarik was.

Kanan should have known that Hera wouldn’t let him become a hermit on her own ship. One morning, she burst into his cabin and ordered him to get dressed. His room smelled almost as bad as Zeb's before Ezra joined the crew, and besides, his body needed fresh air to heal. He wanted to refuse and stay inside, not feeling fit enough to face the rebellion soldiers. He wasn’t this thick. He knew that even after all this time, the image of the indestructible Jedi was still going strong, and he didn't want to sap the spirit of the troops. Hera should have recognized his discomfort because she locked her elbow with his and pressed gently against his side giving him as much physical and moral support. Who was he kidding? He was never able to say no to her.

He was thankful by how natural Hera was acting. If it wasn’t from her arm around his, it would be like any time they have walked together like this. Hera was telling about how the base and rebellion s coming along at this point only cutting her explanation to warn him to be careful about something in the way. He let her melodic voice push away some of his worries.

It didn’t take long for the command centre to become his second home on the planet. Hera was a pillar around here and he wants to help her and the rebellion as much as he can. He might have lost his eyes but his mind was still sharp and can help with tactics.

Hera had her own approach to guide him around the command centre, when there were not as much frequent random rocks or crates in the way, she would move her hand from his arms and lay it against the small of his back. The touch was subtle and he was confident that not many had noticed. She would gently press her fingers in the direction he should walk, lowering her hand a bit to tell him to slow his pace or rub her thumb on his spine when she saw he was tired. If he nodded she would bring him back to the ship where he could rest. It had taken them a few trials to find their own way to communicate without words like before, it was different but still the familiarity makes him feel more at ease.

When the command centre became too busy, noisy or Kanan just need some space away from all this but Hera was in the middle of some important meeting another member off the crew would help him back or just walk around the base. Chopper had been the first one to offer his help. This came as a surprise for Kanan. The astromech had assisted him to reach Ezra on the top of the sith’s temple on Malachor but this was literally a question of life or death. He never expected him to be this helpful outside that kind or drastic situation. The human knew that Chopper didn’t really appreciate how close he was to Hera and likes to make life difficult for anyone but there was some change in his attitude since he came back. Chopper had been mindful around the Ghost to warn of his presence nearby Kanan, which the jedi was thankful because he couldn’t really feel him as well through the Force, and not zoom pass Kanan when he his walking. This was not a sudden change out of pity. Chopper, as grumpy and infuriating he can be, was truly caring about him and Kanan was more touched by this that he could say.

It was nice change but it wasn’t always easy to follow Chopper around. Even with his mechanical arms out as high as Chopper could Kanan had to bend to hold it and sometimes it made him a bit dizzy. He hasn’t said anything not wanting to offend the droid but somehow he felt like Chop should have realized it. Because last time he escorted him Ap-5 was with him and the protocol droid had offered his arm to Kanan. Chopper was on the other side with his hand holding the hem of his shirt. Kanan was glad to make is ways back without being haft bend all along but Chopper and AP-5 endless banter was enough to give him a headache.

As much he appreciated Chopper helps, Kanan was more than glad when Sabine step up one day and offers to help him back. He knows it had taken some time for her to speak up. For days, he could feel her watching and the turmoil of emotion, anger to helplessness, she was keeping inside but he hasn’t tried to press the matter with her. Last time she had been like this it had been when Hera was recovering after the fail mission at Concord Dawn. Deep down Kanan is glad he had taken care of Maul back on Malachor because he wouldn’t want Sabine to go after him but that mean that the young malandorian didn’t have any outlet for her feeling.

Sabine was growing so much and coming out of her shell. He made him so proud to see her making those steps. Still she was never a fan of physical contact so he wasn’t surprised that she would only take his hand, lay it on her shoulder plate and guide him around. They were walking in silence; Sabine broke it only to warn him of some difficulties ahead. It was effective like when they were on a mission but Kanan didn’t want her to feel like she is on a battlefield when they are on a downtime.

  
During one of their walks he could feel the warm of the sunset against the left side of his face and that gave him an idea. He had stopped suddenly and, before Sabine asked him what is going on, he simply ask her to describe the sundown for him. The young woman stayed quiet for a moment before she began to depict what she was seeing. Kanan had smiles listening to her voice, everything sound more beautiful from her perceptive. During her description Sabine had moved his hand from her shoulder to her forearm and he could feel the tension leave her. From that moment when they walked together she would talk about what is going around the base, how thing was changing or about her latest project, art or explosive that didn’t matter. This only made the jedi prouder.

Managing to find a connection with Sabine had been easier than Kanan had expected but Zeb had been another story. The lasat had been acting around Kanan like he was made of crystal all the sudden and it was really annoying. Even more than Zeb seemed to think that he would be the one that would break him if he does something wrong so he kept his distance. Zeb was nearly a permanent presence in the command centre, with Kanan been incapacitated for the first few weeks, he had stepped in to help Hera. Kanan knew his absence left a hole in the rebellion and Zeb work hard to fill it. He was doing an admirable job even if Zeb himself don’t seem to think so. Kanan could sense how uncomfortable he could get some time when the spotlight was on him but he was slowly letting his experience as Captain of Honour Guard coming out. Still most of the time he was just their good old Zeb.

The first time Zeb had offered to help Kanan it have been a disaster for everyone implied. Zeb had hesitated a few second clearly wondering how to do this before he rested his large hand against his shoulders blades. Kanan could feel his friend’s eyes on him along the way. Zeb had been so concerned about doing something wrong that he ended up overlooking one deep in the ground. Kanan stepped in it and nearly find himself face first on the ground. The lasat’s quick reflex had been the only thing that stops him from a painful landing. Kanan couldn’t stop a yell of surprise when his feet quit the ground as Zeb lift him in his arms. The human had cursed in all the language he knew trying to make the lasat put him back on the ground, it was already embarrassing to have people walk him everywhere but to be carried like a child it was too much, but Zeb didn’t let him down until they were back on the Ghost. By the time Kanan managed to regain his footing and fight the wave of disorientation the lasat had been out of the cabin.

  
After this it took a few days before Zeb approached him again, even more nervous and uncomfortable that before but the human was ready for this. Hera had sent him to bring Kanan for debriefing. The jedi only agreed and do like nothing of the ordinary had happened recently. When Zeb presses his hand against his back like he had done before he could only grin a little, this was going exactly like he had planned this. The moment they step into the cargo hold he acted. In one smooth move, Kanan had dropped into a crouching and swipes his friend’s legs right under him. Zeb found himself on his back before he knew what hit him. For an instant they were both silent before Zeb loud laughter filled the cargo hold and Kanan could only join him. This was their turning point for both of them; Zeb realized that Kanan was as strong and resourceful as ever and Kanan just proved to himself he still got it. Zeb got back on his feet and not so gently shove him forward as they walk together. This time Zeb was walking at his side bumping him with his shoulder to guide him in the right way. Things were getting back to normal between them.

All this had made Kanan realize one important thing. Even if he had lost a bit of his autonomy, for the moment, this new situation had just strengthened his bond with the rest of the crew. With his family. All except one.

Ezra.

When they came back from Malachor, his padawan have been glued to his side for the days but Kanan hasn’t mind at all. He was more than happy to felt the boy close to him safe and sound. The teenager helped him move around on the short distance he has to move during his recovery. During those days he had tried to talk to Ezra … to make him open up about what happened. He might be blind but he wasn’t totally in the dark. He felt turmoil of emotion that was bottled up in his padawan mind and he doesn’t like this. No after the way Maul had manipulated him. Ezra always brushes the conversation away somehow. More Kanan had pressed the matter more he could feel Ezra slip away from him. Each day he was moving away from them and hiding from the rest of the crew even refusing when Kanan was offering to begin to train again.

This wasn’t good at all and Kanan was as much lost on how to reach out for Ezra at this point but he would find a way. He knew how it is to lose his way and he would make sure to guide Ezra back to the light.  
He won’t leave his padawan get lost in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to gently point my mistakes. I'm still learning.


End file.
